Want to meet someone but do NOT want to bother with dating?

I want to talk about something that I think so many people feel, but do not always say out loud.

Wanting a relationship… whilst also wanting absolutely nothing to do with dating.

You want the end result. The companionship. The intimacy. The Sunday mornings, holidays, inside jokes and someone to do life with.

But the actual process of dating? The apps. The small talk. The uncertainty. The emotional risk. The dire dates. The mixed signals. The “What are we?” conversations.

Suddenly staying at home in your pyjamas feels far more appealing.

And honestly, I completely get it.

Because modern dating can feel exhausting. You have probably had experiences that hurt you, disappointed you or knocked your confidence a bit. Maybe you have had your time wasted, been ghosted, found yourself stuck in situationships, or spent months investing in someone who ultimately could not give you what you wanted.

Add in the dating apps, the mixed signals, the emotional unavailability, the horror stories online and all the strange “manosphere” content floating around, and it is no wonder people start feeling guarded and burnt out.

So what happens?

You avoid. Not necessarily consciously, but in subtle ways that feel justified at the time.

👉 You tell yourself you will “start dating again soon.”
👉 You stay chatting but never meet up.
👉 You delete the apps every other week.
👉 You convince yourself you are too busy, too tired or that it will “just happen when it is meant to.”

And yes, I absolutely believe you can and will meet someone…

But do I think it is going to happen sitting at home in your pyjamas avoiding the very thing you say you want?

No.

Because anything we want in life requires movement towards it.

That does not mean forcing yourself, pretending to enjoy dating when you do not, or throwing yourself into chaotic energy. But it does mean being willing to take small steps forward, even when fear, avoidance or self protection are telling you to stay where it feels safe.

This is a huge part of the work I do with clients.

We look at what is really holding you back from dating and relationships, whether that is fear, burnout, anxiety, past hurt, low self worth or simply feeling overwhelmed by the whole process. We work on calming the fear and rebuilding trust in yourself so that dating starts to feel lighter, safer and actually enjoyable again.

And alongside that, we take action.

We set goals together, create challenges that stretch your comfort zone and build momentum. We make dating feel hopeful and fun again instead of something you dread.

So if you are ready to take a tentative first step, I would love to support you.

I currently have coaching spaces available, and you can get in touch below if you would like to explore working together.