How do I get them to commit?

I’ve got a shorty but a goodie today. So I’m not sure if this resonates with you, but I get a lot of questions on how to get someone to commit more than they’re currently willing to offer.

• Perhaps you’re basically acting like their girlfriend, but they won’t label the relationship

• Perhaps something started off as casual and you’ve realised you like them

• Perhaps you’ve started dating someone and you want to speed things along (this will often be linked to your attachment style, or levels of security, rather than the other person)

Well the short answer is that you don’t get someone to commit to you. You can’t. It’s not a court of law - you don’t get to sentence someone to serve a certain amount of time with you (outrageous I know).

And if you find yourself trying to threaten them with an ultimatum, trying to manipulate them into it, trying to control them into changing then it’s time to take a step back my love.

Because if you find yourself in a situation where your feelings have changed, or you want more, or clarity, all you can do is tell them.

This is the crucial part, (that most people forget, or ignore). We have to communicate how we feel and what is is that we want. If you want to look at a free dating communication guide, it's here. 

It’s more than ok that your feelings have grown, but it is up to you to take responsibility for the situation you’re now in, because whether you like it or not, you both created it together.

The scary part is when you don't get the answer you want, or need. But some people work on different timelines, and some people aren't for us. And if they don’t want the same thing, if they can’t offer you the commitment you need, then it’s up to you to walk away with love and choose yourself. 

If you don’t, the real question you need to be asking is why you’re so attached to someone who doesn’t value you?

See what comes up, because, as I know by my own experience as well as hundreds of hours coaching clients, that the answer is always about us, and not them.

👉 I offer a free 30 minute call to chat through your coaching options. You can book your free call HERE, and if there aren't times that suit, I'll create one for you. Just reply to this email! 

I also have a couple of 1:1 spaces opening up to work together this Spring and Summer!