How to maintain the hope when you’ve done the work on your love life, but been single for years.

SO last week I wrote a blog about the reality of raising your standards when dating — and how it can lead to that oh-so-familiar wave of frustration when it feels like you’ve done the work and yet… nothing has changed.

Quite a few of you replied asking the big question:

👉 “Okay, but how do I keep going when dating fatigue creeps back in?”
👉 “How do I stay hopeful when it’s felt like years?”

And honestly, I get it. This is one of the most frustrating places to be.

You’ve raised your standards. You’re no longer interested in idiots. You actually believe love is out there.

And still — nothing. This is often the point where resilience cracks and the “what’s the point?” thoughts creep in.

But like with every other part of life, we can only control what we put in and how we show up. We can’t force someone to appear. We don’t get to control the who, when or where.

So here’s a little Survival Guide for When Dating Feels Hopeless 👇

💫 Take a break from the apps

Rather than trawling more apps. Step back. Breathe. Go back to what your days looked like before you were dating — what routines grounded you? How were you speaking to yourself then? How were you talking to friends about dating? Go back to what gave you energy.

💫 Remember why you started “doing the work”

It wasn’t just to meet someone. It was to be happy. To build confidence. To create a life that excites you. “Doing the work” doesn’t guarantee you’ll meet the person — it guarantees you’ll build a lifelong relationship with yourself.

💫 Reflect on how far you’ve come

When you feel disheartened, look back over the past few months or years. What’s changed? How have you changed? Get really specific here, I promise, there’s more progress there than you realise.

💫 Drop the “I’ll be happy when…”

If happiness is always tied to meeting someone, you’ll feel like you’re stuck in a waiting room, holding your breath for life to begin. And truthfully? Even when you meet your person, you’ll find something else to attach that feeling to.

💫 Trust in timing

You probably already trust timing in other parts of life — work, friendships, opportunities. Love’s the same. When it happens, it’ll be because the timing is right. So don’t wish away where you are. When you get discouraged, think of three examples where timing did work out perfectly and why.

💫 Stop putting your life on pause

Ask yourself: “If things didn’t work out exactly how I want, how would I want my life to look?”  But this question helps you see what you’ve been putting off. For me, it was travel. Creating a proper home.

💫 Make your cheerleader list

Write down at least 10 reasons someone would be thrilled to be with you. If you get stuck, ask friends or family — they’ll remind you what makes you special.

And finally… remember this: things can change in a day.  A week. A month. Just because it feels hard or far away right now doesn’t mean it always will.

If you’re ready to stop settling in your love life, you can book a free discovery call with me to explore what that looks like. I have just ONE space for a new client this month and I'm offering 20% off for that space. 

You can book a free call HERE to chat through what's going on and seeing if we would be a good fit to work together. So holla if you're interested.