What if love doesn’t look the way you expect it to?

Something I’ve been really enjoying exploring with an amazing client lately is this idea: what if love doesn’t look the way you expected it to?

We all grow up with some sort of “picture” of what our future partner will be like. Maybe you imagined a certain personality, career, or even the way they’d look. But what if the person who’s right for you shows up in a way that challenges those ideals?

Maybe they don’t check the boxes you thought mattered most—like:

• A career path you envisioned

• The physical traits you’re usually drawn to

• Living in the “right” city or having the “ideal” lifestyle (or even being a vegetarian vs not!)

• Already having kids (when you never imagined that for yourself)

• Being younger or older than you thought you’d consider
  Or maybe… there isn’t that instant lightning-bolt spark

This picture might have been built over the years, honed by family, friends, and even popular culture. What I’ve noticed is that we often cling to this strict criteria of who we “should” be with, rather than what we actually need. Sometimes it’s less about us and more about the unspoken pressure of: What will my friends think? What will my family say?

But here’s the thing: when we let go of rigid criteria, we open ourselves up to noticing qualities that matter so much more: kindness, security, laughter, shared values, the ability to grow together.

Because in my experience, the person we end up with is rarely the one we thought we would choose… but they turn out to be exactly who we needed.

💭 If this email has sparked something, then here are a few reflection questions! 

•  Do you find yourself dating with a checklist in mind? Or are you open to being surprised by someone?

• What qualities truly matter to you in a relationship—beyond surface-level traits?

• How much of your dating “criteria” comes from your needs, and how much comes from fear of judgment or outside expectations?

• If you allowed yourself to be surprised, who might you give a chance that you would’ve overlooked?

I also have four spaces for new clients this September! If this is something you're interested in, you can book a free 30 min call (no strings attached) HERE. If there aren't any times that suit, just reply to this email and I'll send some more over.